Houston Writer's Conference

     Since I am paid in "family moments"--- you know those magical fiveseconds of a day where your kids tell you your the best mom ever because you picked green beans out from the garden together or you've agreed to let them help make pancakes---two-hundred and fifty dollars for a writing conference is a lot of money. But, wow, was this conference worth it!
   Honestly, I'm expecting to be bored senseless with alot of lectures, like I was back in college. (Not talking about your class Sissy.) It turned out to be quiet the opposite.
  The energy level of the presenters at the conference was amazing. I took the young adult track, for the most part. All of my speakers were practically doing song and dance numbers like they were from Gypsy. I kept picturing them breaking out into song and singing, "Let me, entertain you. Let me, make you smile!" I kid you not when I tell you one of the presenters put on fairy wings!
   One of my favorite quotes from the conference was from Elaine Scott, an author published 40 times over. She said, "Write as if they will confiscate your computer on Friday." I love that. I was really bummed the email address she gave me didn't work. If anyone knows her email address, I wanted to shoot her a note about how I loved her lecture.
  Besides talented, experienced writers giving us advice on what to do and not to do, there were many agents there.  I was able to interview with four of them. I was surprised by how friendly, nurturing, and helpful the agents I spoke with were.  Granted, during the first interview I was crazy nervous...but as the energy of the conference rubbed off on me...I was on a roll. The best feeling happened in one of my interviews. When the agent was listening to my pitch, I could really tell they were really appreciating the uniqueness and humor of the story and characters. It felt great to have an agent appear to take a genuine interest in my story.  Crossing my fingers  the agent I felt a connection to works out!

Taking Undercover to the Mall

One of my dialogue exercises suggests you go to the mall and ease drop on people's conversations, then write down what you remember.  Well, I found several problems with this suggestion.  1) the music at the mall is so loud and obnoxious that you can be standing next to someone and not hear people talk. So, I thought, the food court might be better, but alas, the music and noise is so loud there and the chatter so everywhere, that you cannot hear the person sitting right next to you, either.  This picture is of me trying on a dress as I record the two sentences I just heard when I first entered the mall.  I was afraid someone would notice me taking notes on my phone, so I thought... dressing room!  I bought that dress!

At this point, I am still trying to run to the dressing room to record my snip bits of dialogue I heard.  I was a little disappointed at how little I could overhear in a certain amount of time, but more I was disappointed in how "immature" the language of both adults and teenagers was.  For example: sixty year old white woman with a hickish country accent, drab looking clothes, over weight, and a curved back stated into her cell phone: "When I say she's bad, I mean  she's gone all to heck."  Or... as I was waiting in the Chick-fil-a line, a pimply overweight teenager with red curly hair was rating girls after they left the line, in front of the other customers... just like we didn't exist. "I rate that one a seven," he says about this adorable, petite girl who works at Claire's (I had already run into her at the store and had a conversation ). The other two do a moaning, like they disagree.  "What u don't think so?" They moan again.  "What u think I was being too nice?"  At this point, I am finally at the cash register, and the guy stops talking as if he realized finally that they rest of the restaurant could hear his conversation.  Of course, I had some witty comeback in my mind to berate him in front of the restaurant, "For a guy that I would rate a zero, you are not one to be rating women, especially your customers."  That comment flickered in my head, as did summoning the manager because I really enjoyed the conversation that I had with that Claire's girl, and I knew I was next to be rated.  However, I choose the nobler path... emulating Chaucer... Do you remember Chaucer from A Knight's Tale, "I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity."  Beware the person who scorns the writer!  I didn't buy those clothes in my hands, but I did try them on, along with a two hundred dollar sexy dress that made me look amazing while still having sleeves and going an inch above my knees, but too much money and no place to wear it!

The last dress I tried on and didn't buy- didn't like that black line across my breasts. After this, I decided that running to the dressing room was a waste of time.  I actually found the best way to hear a conversation in the mall was walking in the hallway.  Anyone who was unfortunate enough to walk behind me, I typed what they said just as they said it.  My best conversations went unwritten and were with two different shop employees, which I didn't write down because I was too interested in shopping in the store to focus on my main agenda...my writing exercise. 

So, was my undercover trip to the mall successful?  Four hours, 11 different types of people, and 135 words noted.  Better than nothing, I guess.