Authors are known to put themselves into stories. Generally this an inadvertent and probably subconscious way of manifesting and dealing with our dreams, fears, and personal issues.
I've spent a lot of time lately, talking about Dog Breath, the comedy novel which I just published. However, the best novel/series that I have written is undoubtedly The Lambient Series. Book One is called Fostering Worlds, Book Two is Mists of Despair, and Book Three (well, it hasn't been written or named.) And within the series, there are two main characters. Desiree and Zach.
Today, I'd like you to meet Desiree.
* A foster child who wants to be loved but is so afraid to be hurt that she pushes everyone in her life away. "Don't let them in," she tells herself. Despite all her efforts, she seems to love despite herself.
This is a character that I feel most people can relate to. At some point in our lives, we are afraid to put ourselves out there. No one wants to be rejected. But, we put ourselves out there anyway, wearing our hearts on our sleeves, because -in truth- being alone is scarier for most people than having their heart broken.
As a foster child myself, I went through many homes before the age of nine. The picture above is me on the day that I was sent to my last foster home. Of course, I didn't know then that it would be the last. You always think: "This could be the one." But, then there is also: "Is today the today that they get rid of me?"
When I finally had a family want me, I found it hard- so hard- to let them in. I wanted to. I needed to. But, like Desiree in Mists of Despair, my problem has always been "not knowing the mechanics of how to swim toward my goal."
I didn't know how to love.
I didn't know at nine, and sadly at thirty-four...I still find it hard to let people into my life. Pushing people away comes natural. It's a protective instinct that I hoped to out grow. Truth is, I didn't even realize I did it until I created the character, Desiree. After all, I hadn't set out to make Desiree resemble me at all. But, half way through book one- when I am writing the scene where Desiree's foster mother tells her that she is adopting her, and the character feels completely inadequate and undeserving of this woman's love- I realize...
I am, forever and a day, Desiree.
I've spent a lot of time lately, talking about Dog Breath, the comedy novel which I just published. However, the best novel/series that I have written is undoubtedly The Lambient Series. Book One is called Fostering Worlds, Book Two is Mists of Despair, and Book Three (well, it hasn't been written or named.) And within the series, there are two main characters. Desiree and Zach.
Today, I'd like you to meet Desiree.
* A foster child who wants to be loved but is so afraid to be hurt that she pushes everyone in her life away. "Don't let them in," she tells herself. Despite all her efforts, she seems to love despite herself.
This is a character that I feel most people can relate to. At some point in our lives, we are afraid to put ourselves out there. No one wants to be rejected. But, we put ourselves out there anyway, wearing our hearts on our sleeves, because -in truth- being alone is scarier for most people than having their heart broken.
As a foster child myself, I went through many homes before the age of nine. The picture above is me on the day that I was sent to my last foster home. Of course, I didn't know then that it would be the last. You always think: "This could be the one." But, then there is also: "Is today the today that they get rid of me?"
When I finally had a family want me, I found it hard- so hard- to let them in. I wanted to. I needed to. But, like Desiree in Mists of Despair, my problem has always been "not knowing the mechanics of how to swim toward my goal."
I didn't know how to love.
I didn't know at nine, and sadly at thirty-four...I still find it hard to let people into my life. Pushing people away comes natural. It's a protective instinct that I hoped to out grow. Truth is, I didn't even realize I did it until I created the character, Desiree. After all, I hadn't set out to make Desiree resemble me at all. But, half way through book one- when I am writing the scene where Desiree's foster mother tells her that she is adopting her, and the character feels completely inadequate and undeserving of this woman's love- I realize...
I am, forever and a day, Desiree.
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