My Voice or His

Author George Lasher once told me that I’d be a successful writer when I finally found my voice. Obviously, he wasn’t referring to my volume- which could deafen penguins in Antarctica- or my opinions- which are definitive, endless, and always unsolicited. Not understanding what he meant, I carried on…writing and writing.

                Somewhere along the way, writing transformed from a hobby into something that I felt was achievable. I have explored picture books, chapter books, and comedy. And still, he was right, my dabbling missed something. I began to pray that I would be inspired and that I would improve. I finished writing an adult comedy (my first completed novel) and set out on my second. Eighty pages into that work my perspective changed on life. I stopped asking God for specific things that I wanted and needed. Instead, each day, I simply said, “Let me know your will.”

             As I sat down to write on my story- which I was very much attached to- I distinctly felt that I should cast it aside for this new world that began taking shape in my mind.  And, as my very first act of following His plan for me, I did. Ironically, that is the theme of the book: Having faith to follow God’s plan for you.  Five months later, I am completely finished. I read the final chapter to my writing group last night.

              I look back on what I’ve written. Desiree’s conflicting impulse to push people away and her desire for a forever family. Zach’s determinations to help Gretchen, even if it means defying a god. And, the principles my characters learned along the way, they were mine. As my characters learned eternal truths, so did I. Yes, I look back on this story and see my voice. That foster child who struggled for love but fought it at every turn. The one whose past could never stay buried. That teenager who was taught the truth, but refused to act on their knowledge. The one that took the long road to find the light. These are my stories embedded within the pages of a science-fiction, young adult novel. Within it is my voice. But, more importantly, there’s His voice, too.

             I’d ask you to wish me luck in finding an agent, but then I remember.